First Date Tips and Tricks

by Marisa Pellegrino

The first date: what to wear, where to go, what to say, what to do and what not to do. All this pressure to make a good first impression can be daunting. After all, you know practically nothing about each other and the whole point of a first date is to judge (as much as we don't like to admit it) whether or not we think we'd like to get to know each other better. But first dates don't have to be elaborate or fancy in order for you to secure that coveted second or third date. There are some things you will want to do and others you will want to avoid on a first date to ensure its success and the possibility of future dates as well.

When it comes to dating, it seems everyone thinks they're the expert to turn to for advice. Whether it's your friends or your lovable aunts who constantly inquire about your love life, everyone has a dating tip for you. But we all know what to do on a date, don't we? Always have a smile, listen attentively, be yourself, have fun, and the list goes on. So, if everyone knows the tips for successful dating, then why do we go through so much trouble and anxiety about first dates? Maybe it's because there is no set standard of rules anymore.

Once upon a time, chivalry was the norm. Nowadays, some women get offended when the door is held open or their seat is pulled out for them. Consequently, many single people are at a loss when it comes to knowing what to do and when to do it. And while there may not be an ultimate list of shoulds and should nots, there are still some common dating tips that everyone can agree on.

• It is important to be attentive to your date and this includes listening to what they are saying (and maybe throwing in a question or two) and maintaining eye contact when in a conversation.
• There is nothing worse than meeting your date and not knowing what you're going to do. If you have something planned ahead of time, it shows you put some thought into it.
• If you go out for dinner, why not split the bill? Sure, you were invited out and your date is expected to pay but offer anyway. And if your date picks up the tab, offer to pay the next time. - By all means, call your date if you say you're going to call! If you didn't have a good time then be courteous, and don't promise to get in touch when you really have no intention of doing so.
• Be polite; turn off your cell phone and stop the wandering eyes. There is nothing ruder than taking a casual call from a friend or ogling the waitress at the next table while your date is attempting to hold your attention.
• While talking about past relationships almost always comes up in conversation, don't start telling your date every last detail; they are not your therapist!
• And believe me, chivalry is not dead; women do appreciate it, just don't overdo it boys.

In this world of women's independence, many are taking it upon themselves to ask the man out. And why not?! It shows confidence and is a turn-on for many men. Keep in mind though, confidence is sexy, arrogance is a turn off.

Many people will have a different answer when you ask them their opinion on whether or not a kiss is acceptable on the first date. Maybe all you want to do is hold hands or snuggle and save the kiss for another date. It all depends on the chemistry between you and whether or not it feels right. And if it does, then go for it. Of course, if the date isn't going well, feel free to end the date early with everyone's favorite backup "emergency" phone call from a friend. Chances are if you're not having a good time, neither is your date!

Hopefully, this has broadened your outlook on the world of "first dates". The whole point of a first date is to figure out if you want to get to know the person better. Remember, when it comes to dating and tips, just follow your instinct and no matter the outcome, have fun, enjoy yourself, and relax.